в руках і кишенях не маю нічого,
я палив спогади, вокзали мости,
а тепер шукаю схрону.
Пусти мене дядьку задурно,
он сходить місяць над водою
нащо тобі того срібла?
я так хочу нарешті додому.
Куди йти, та що ти верзеш?
Блукати мов привид над полем?
шукати рятунку в землі, авжеж
та я розтрощу на друзки твій човен!
Ну все, сволотто, я йду,
пошукаю в тій річці броду,
а не знайду, так перепливу
і ти нічого мені не зробиш.
хитко мені нитко
страшно мені башто
тлінно мені інно
( ще 3Collapse )
- Current Mood: hopeful
I always loved grapes. I wanted to live in a house where its leaves were twining my balcony. In fact as a child I lived in such a house, but the plant was, as me, still very young and barely reached the third floor, and we lived in the seventh . I stared down all admonished it : "Well, grow up a little bit more so that I can reach you ." Perhaps this was another reason why I was so on at her. We stood on the balcony and kissed, eating grapes straight from the balcony. It was tart and dry sensation in the mouth. Below anyone could see us and it gave some crazy feeling in my temples and elsewhere in the solar plexus. I was in eighth grade. Of course we didn`t make any confessions and never talked about love – children never stand for such things. We were breathing hard and looked at each other with suspicion: each of us thought it was some kind of game. In addition, she was elder than me. I was afraid that she would laugh any minute and say something like "Haha, you are such a fool that took this for true."
Then I have beem looking for her - a few years probably going under that balcony. She moved to another country. Her parents won the green card or something. I found out about it from man with the dog, who lived at the entryway. She did not say anything, but I was not offended or surprised, I expected that. It was in our rules - never sinking into drama, that was something we despised thereat . And then we moved on as well. Not so far - only to another city area with bigger apartments. There were no grapes, of course. After all, I forgot almost everything and became an adult, it was inevitable. I even forgot her name. So when I got all the documents, I even didn`t notice. I just needed to obtain a visa quickly and the permission for long staying, so I resorted to this fraud: fictitious marriage. The racy thing was that I had a girlfriend; I met her a long time and was going to marry, seriously. And then I had to earn money for our accommodation.
I did not even recognize her , honestly. And she did – at once. She was feverishly browsing my face with her grey eyes, her hands shaking. And then I came closer:" Are you all right?" –I asked and felt a strange smell , dust in the sun, sprinkled with some flowers that crumble . And there was a lot of dust in a balcony, she gently swept it away in a pile as scoop was lost. And some top petals of flowers falling down. Well, that's the smell I felt , but only recognized her when she said , "How did you find me ? ". So all these years she thought, that I was looking for her.
That's why I am here to stay and that is why I need legal permission to live and to work. I did not take too much of your time?
І покласти сердце на місце
ніяких роздумів і солі
просто згадай курс анатомії
все має бути на місцях
по полицях і шафах
розкидатись нутрощами, знаєш, не варто
А ще я шукала майже два місяці "Ерудит", а він увесь цей час спокійнісінько лежав на Угорській серед платівок і чекав поки прийде Наталя і знайде його мені :)
боимся, что кто-то все обязательно пишет,
казалось, разбить нас под силу и мыши.
Страшимся банальных сценариев, неверных слов,
надеемся авось повезет - не расшифруют, не услышат,
ведь надо быть необозримее в сто раз и выше,
держать спину, левел и лицо,
и все это красиво, естественно, легко,
прикинуться циником, атеистом или распущенным наглецом,
если становится уж совсем тяжело.
Для кого же, скажи мне, солнце мое,
мы так надрываем сердце и выгибаем грудь колесом?
Ведь я не верю ни в бога, ни в черта,
ни, тем более, в мертвую пустоту...
Я достаю фишки и делаю ставки
и отворачиваюсь, делая вид, что мне все равно